baby photo

I used to be so jealous of Eleanor. Being the first baby was wasted on her, considering the resentful ingratitude she manifested in later years. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help but think that, had I been first, we could have stopped there and been perfectly happy. But then perhaps my own recollections of the kind of child I was have become faded into a bucolic shade of rose with time. Perhaps I couldn’t have painted myself as such a good kid without those miscreant older siblings for contrast.

She’s maybe 6 months old, chubby, cute, and sitting naked in a wash basin on the table. Next to the basin lies a little brush that has just been used to put her hair up into a lovely pink satin bow. The table shows evidence of water splashed about, and no one has rushed in with a hurry to wipe up the mess because their attention is so intent on her chubby face. Their every attention rushes in with the fascination of her various wiggles, smiles and passings of gas. With her they posed wearing animated smiles on their faces. With her there was the fascination with this thing they had made. It’s not like it was the last time they ever smiled. Not by a long shot. But this is what they looked like when they didn’t know yet. It’s a beautiful smile at your bathing baby that’s worth being jealous of.